December 2011
27 posts
Just bought $500 in bow ties. What is my life.
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Next person who tries to tell me Ron Paul is pro-freedom or that he doesn’t want to restrict abortion rights gets punched in the fucking mouth.
oh man
There’s some really beautiful irony in Atlas Shrugged Part 1 bombing at the box office.
lol free markets
I KNOW ONE OF YOU LIVES IN NEW YORK AND NEEDS A... →
She was abused pretty hard by some asshole breeder/dog fight trainers. Her face is pre-squished, so your job is to cuddle it back into place.
SERIOUSLY
I like to think of the Bush administration as the real-life Republican version of the West Wing.
Anonymous asked: What is the best way to react when you spill a fresh beer?
at which i fail at being a complex organism
You guys ever feel like shit then drink a bunch of water and feel instantly better?
I just did, and I’m pretty sure it’s a sign that I’m one of the slower animals in the herd, like evolution is trying to kill me but I’m somehow surviving anyway.
The current state of the GOP is amazing.
The religious right wants to vote for Santorum, the religious less-right wants to vote for Perry, the Tea Party and other unified fragments want to vote for Gingrich, other Tea Partiers want to vote for Bachman, Libertarians want to vote for Ron Paul (again), people who can’t make up their minds want to vote for Romney, and people who filled out their poll forms incorrectly want to vote for...
Jobs I would rather have than the one I do now,...
Job: Mathmetician Responsibilities: Doing math all day. Probably drinking an exquisite, well-aged whiskey while pondering the hidden complexities of life at a depth that most people will never even be able to imagine. Why I am not doing that job: I have panic attacks when I try to do derivations.
Job: Historian Responsibilities: Parting the curtains of the past and peering through the...
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A brief history of my old work intranet passwords
Poopfeast420
Poppop666
Deathgrinder4ever
justpress222forawhile
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Gregtron's guaranteed hangover cure:
1) Turn down the lights
2) Get on the couch and under a fuzzy blanket.
3) Complain until someone brings you a bottle of Gatorade.
4) Cry while you drink the Gatorade.
5) Try to eat something greasy and salty. Stop halfway through and tell your dogs how miserable you are while you feed bits of it to them.
6) Have Elijah Wood come over and stare deep into your eyes while he takes your...
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The thing about Rick Perry is that his political...
Thinks printing money is “treasonous”.
Is really into, you know, the constitution. Unless it’s an amendment he wants to shoot or lethally inject.
Thinks gay people should just be abstinent, and likens them to alcoholics.
Thinks global warming is a hoax.
Considers the New Deal a “failure”.
Wants to go to war with China.
Endorsed Giuliani in 2008.
Still...
Nerds and Male Privilege →
This is the same old stuff rehashed so it might not be a thrilling or exciting read, but if any of you need a stick to beat over someone’s head then this meets all the criteria for making bro-nerds have an epiphany about their filthy, horrible ways.
anedumacation:
My favorite codeword for fat is “healthy”.
Is this an Indian English thing?
The storekeepers used to tell my mother “and we have clothes for healthy women as well”. And she’d be like, “oh, just say what you really mean, yaar”
Healthy? I think I like that. Until I finish this second cup of coffee I won’t really be able to articulate why, but it might be based on my...
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Children playing: a sign of autism since 11... →
theinfinitegeneration:
taoistdrunk:
lol but for real though fuck off
i keep accidentally offending people on the internet. i even did it to kelly oxford once. people never get pissed at me irl. but on the internet it’s just hate hate hate and sometimes i guess i’m asking for it. i just wanna be loved man. but people only notice you if you piss them off. that’s why the kids with absent...
Now my mother in law is going apeshit to my favorite Ke$ha song.
Some old people at this wedding are just dancing their asses off, not even givin’ a fuck. Let that be a lesson to all y’all tight-ass youngsters.
A boring story about a party you didn't go to
Kyle, my brother Miketron, and I ended up somehow on a beach somewhere, in a surprisingly quiet group of people. It was odd to us, that even though these people were young and drunk, they all seemed to be subdued and peaceful. No one was even raising their voice to communicate over the small fire that had been lit for warmth and light. The entire evening had gone by in an uneventful sort of way,...