February 2012
42 posts
Amazing new idea:
By a moped and a glitter cannon. Find women being holla’d at on the street and blast their admirers with glitter. Need a snappy one-liner.
“This is literally what dreams are made of!”
“Your mother is very disappointed ok you!”
“This is not an appropriate way to communicate with people!”
New amazing idea:
Carry a pie around with me. When someone says something sexist I can set them on fire then eat pie when I get home.
New amazing idea:
Start carrying around a dildo and a fleshlight. When someone says something racist I can show them what robot sex would look like.
I love the way Cookie Monster calls Kermit “Frog” and emotionally manipulates him for cookies.
cannonball101:
gregtron replied to your post: I want to make fried chicken tonight
YES, we have an awesome fried chicken recipe, but it requires an overnight soaking in buttermilk. Still want it?
Yes, PLEASE!!
Ok, here’s the greatest fried chicken recipe of all time.
Soak chicken overnight in buttermilk. Use about 2 cups per 3 or 4 pounds of chicken, or whatever it takes to coat it...
The word "misandry" is really useful.
It means I can stop reading a comment on the internet immediately.
2 tags
Attn: Chicago area Tumblrs who like dogs.
When I brought Floyd home from that kill shelter in Oklahoma, he was a quivering, emaciated wreck. He jumped at every sound, he ran from everyone, and his inner-struggle between needing affection and being terrified of humans caused him to pace endlessly around the house. He had been heavily abused, and we didn’t even know if rehabilitation was possible.
But after months and months of...
My new diet plan.
So for second breakfast, I decided to throw together a Reese’s Cup milkshake. I got distracted and didn’t remove the paper from the second Reese’s Cup.
I give this milkshake two stars.
HAHAHAHA
That kid that wrecked my mailbox? The knucklehead’s dad is a pastor and a member of the school board, and we just had a very pleasant conversation in which he offered to replace my mailbox and assured me his child was “read the riot act”.
GREG: 1, KIDS: 0
This happened in the county I grew up in. →
I know the younger woman in the mugshot photos.
My next door neighbor is so awesome.
She’s caught Barnabus after he escaped twice, she took a package that was delivered early off my front steps so it wouldn’t get ruined in the rain while I was out of town, and just now she gave me the name of the kid who smashed up my mailbox.
So anyway, what do I do with this information? I think the kid has parents who give a shit, so I’m leaning toward going to his house...
Lenore is dressed like a hobo. I asked her if she just wanted to have milkshakes for dinner and she said
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhh……. Sure.”
And I thought, this is her. This is the youngmanhattanite intern. This is the one they picked.
Guess who has two thumbs and enough scheduling...
It’s Gregtron, mother fuckers.
I expect to lose 5 followers because of this extremely boring post. I’ll have to post a picture of Floyd dancing to win them back.
Just got a text from an ex-girlfriend.
It’s a little picture of two kids roller-skating, accompanied by the text “Happy valentine’s Day!!”. This is annoying enough, for all the obvious reasons, but what makes it even worse is now I’m receiving lots of texts from people who apparently have phones with a reply-all function for mass SMS messages.
I will now be sending “cat fact” text messages...
Anonymous asked: Is your girlfriend a character from a DFW novel?
i hope you guys are ready to be bombarded by lenore beadsman memes
Anonymous asked: You know you can screencap that racist woman's facebook wall and send it to child services. If you are not reporting racist child abuse then....
well fuck
You know how you guys hate-follow or hate-read certain Tumblrs? Well, I hate-do that to people I went to high school with on Facebook. One woman is a true gem of a person on whose profile I have seen the following:
A status update about asking people if it was immoral to, I guess, game the system when it came to the free school supplies a local community group provides, and asking people about...
4 tags
“lol omg thor uve changed me!”
“lol omg natlie portman uve changed me 2!”
“lol omg i cant bliev i scienced u in2 earth! nao kiss me u lion faced sun of oden”
Thor doesn’t wear a seatbelt.
Work is slow tonight, so I’m watching Thor. I’m wondering if Natalie Portman could possibly be any worse than she is right now in this movie.
I don't suppose any of you are property tax...
Warning: This is about money.
We have a quaint little house on the outskirts of Chicago’s south side. Our property taxes are like 6K a year. Our house and yard are on two different property index numbers, and one of them is in the previous owner’s name. I also can’t figure out how to get the Cook County Treasurer to give us our homeowner’s exemption for any year since...
1 tag
HEY GUYS
If you want to convert Wikipedia articles into mobi (an ebook format) files, best get all over this link.
January 2012
31 posts
2 tags
Hope nobody clicked that…
2 tags
1 tag
A Tumblr blogger's "Rant about Mexicans." →
stfuracists:
Hey, Tumblr community, meet one of your neighbors…
im-perfectly-me:
They come into our country and take over our language. ESL? English is a SECOND language? Hell no. English is the FIRST language of America. If American’s went to Mexico, they would throw a pissy fit if we tried taking over Spanish with English. Why would we let you guys into our free country just so you can fuck...
